You’re Allowed to Override Your Body
Everyone is talking about “not bypassing your nervous system” or “not bypassing your body”. It seems to be a hot topic!
And while I’m glad this messaging is becoming more widespread, what no one is talking about is what to do when you knowingly override those internal cues in service of sacred responsibility. How to stay in relationship with yourself even as you cross your own internal boundaries, and how not to slip into self-abandonment in the process.
Ok so I know, I say this statement A LOT in my work as well: “Let’s learn to not bypass our bodies”… and if you have a history of fawning like myself, it’s incredibly important to fine tune your internal radar. Recognizing the felt sense signals of what is a YES and what is a NO in your body, what feels good and what doesn’t feel good, your yuck and yum.
This attunement not only helps you know yourself more intimately, it also supports you in making different choices, rather than acting from habitual patterns.
But what happens when your elderly father is moving nursing homes next weekend, and there’s no one else to help him except you? You’re already juggling so much, and that was supposed to be your one weekend to rest… but you love your father and feel obligated to support him.
Or when you’re a mother and your body is asking for stillness, but your children needs you in ways that can’t be postponed?
There are inevitable times in life when we are going to knowingly bypass the internal signals of our bodies for the sake of sacred responsibility to our families or even friends. Honouring your body and nervous system in those circumstances might look a little different.
One of the most important things you can do is to consciously name to yourself that you’re making this choice. Say to yourself “Yes, I’m bypassing in some capacity right now, and I’m choosing to do so with care, knowing I will support myself in other ways.” That conscious recognition alone can be regulating and protective.
Using the example of moving your father into a new nursing home: simply acknowledging that you’re tired, that parts of you don’t want to be doing this, and that you’re overriding some of your body’s cues… even that simple awareness itself is already healing. You’re not bypassing the fact that you’re bypassing lol. Combining this with choosing to implement micro practices amidst the chaos of it all is where the healing impact deepens.
This might look like brief moments of pause amidst the chaos… even just one minute of rest, letting your shoulders soften, your belly relax. Or tending to yourself in simple, practical ways by bringing your favourite drink, tea, or a nourishing snack. It may sound simple, but when these gestures disappear entirely, that’s when self-abandonment creeps in. This simple acts of care let your body know that you still care, you’re not leaving yourself.
If you want to take this one step further, carve out a bit of time afterwards to sit with the emotions you held down while doing something parts of you didn’t necessarily want to do. Be with those feelings and move them through. This allows those emotions to be honoured in some capacity , instead of being neglected entirely
This is how we build self awareness and somatic capacity to be with what’s arising, while still honouring the sacred responsibilities that are an innate part of life.
Honestly, we all need to stop looking at healing work through such a black and white lens. It’s nuanced! It always has been and always will be.
It’s likely that you had to bypass yourself at some point. Maybe multiple times. I want you to know that whatever happened, you’re not wrong or bad. It’s ok. You’re human, and this human experience is both beautiful, and chaotically messy.