What’s Been Genuinely Resourceful For Me Lately
My question for you is: when your system is activated, what can you reliably lean on that feels regulating and resourceful?
This is a question I often ask my clients.
Honestly, sometimes this type of inquiry is so simple that we often forget about it or bypass it, thinking we need to “go harder” to heal… there’s no way it can be easy, right? But I always like to say that we can’t heal a wound with the same energy that created it… and often the simplest resolution is the one that works best. And, sometimes we’re so good at the trauma-stuff and pointing of what’s wrong in our lives, our nervous systems forget what it means to truly enjoy the good, no matter how small.
As the dog days of winter are upon us, I know first-hand what it looks like to get caught up in the spiral of the mind, the seductive “trauma-vortex”, or “what’s wrong attention” bias. When the days are cold, snow-ridden, when there’s so much chaos happening in the world, and when winter feels seemingly endless, sometimes our trauma-vortex behaviours and ways of relating can really sneak up on us.
I always get curious about ways we can de-shame how we relate to ourselves and our patterns, so I’ll be the first to say that if what I’m writing about here feels relatable, know that you’re most certainly not alone. The themes I often write in these newsletters are centred around my own real-world experiences, not just arbitrary concepts I’ve only seen in others.
So, in the spirit of sharing resources, I’d love to share with you what’s felt resourceful to me as of late, in case it’s inspiring or helpful to you:
The Forehead-Occiput Containment Hold — one hand on the back of the head cupping/supporting where the head meets the neck, and one hand on the forehead. Place the hands there and simply be. Feeling the holding, support, and containment of your own touch.
Window Orientation — Looking out my window for a minute, and marvelling at whatever I see (snow, sunshine, barren trees), taking it in, and letting my eyes linger on anything that feels interesting or pleasant to look at
Going indoor mini golfing! This was really fun, a great way to beat the winter blues.
Making art in the evenings — my partner and I have been setting aside a little time in the evenings to work on art projects. Drawing, sculpting with air-dry clay, beading, painting. This has been really regulating and so much more connective than allowing freeze to sink in deeper by staring at the TV.
Bottomless tea! — I recently got a large tea/coffee dispenser that keeps things hot, and I’ve been making a huuuge amount of tea almost daily, and keeping the dispenser close by to refill whenever needed
Resources can be very personal. What feels like a resource in my system might not feel like one in yours, and vice versa. My invitation for you is to come up with your own personal list of mini resources and macro resources. Things you can lean on when you’re craving, or deeply in need of, regulation and return to coherence. “Mini resources” meaning simple things that only take a minute or so, and “macro resources” meaning things that require a bit more effort and scheduling, like going to a yoga class.