Anger as a Healing & Clarifying Tool
I’ve been reflecting quite a bit on the freeze response and how to effectively shift back into a more coherent, alive state
As per my promise to be really real with you, to be sincere with this community, and revel in our collective human-ness… I’ll share that this past week has been intense for me. I seem to be in this phase of breaking down what’s no longer working in my life, and rewriting the script so that there’s more space for healthier ways of relating to take root… but the breaking down phase can been A LOT. Especially when it happens all at once or unexpectedly.
Amidst the overwhelm, I’ve found my nervous system toggling into freezy feelings: numb, listless, foggy, not fully “here”. These qualities are the epitome of how freeze shows up when our systems are overwhelmed past our window of tolerance.
Freeze carries stories of helplessness. Stories of:
“I can’t do this”
“This is too much”
”I lost my vibe/mojo”
“I don’t know what to do”
… or “what year is it again?”
This is the nervous system in Immobility.
When you’re in this state, practices that ask you to be still for long periods of time (like seated meditation) often don’t create the shift we’re hoping for. Sometimes, they can even drive the freeze deeper into the system. Instead, introducing Mobilizing energy can help the system become un-stuck and restore a sense of choice and agency.
Since freeze carries stories of “I can’t do this” (immobility), healing happens when we let the body experience a sense of “I can do this” (mobility)
This could be as simple as going for a walk and telling yourself “I can move, I am choosing to move, my body is moving”… out loud if possible!
Or lift some weights. Jump on a rebounder or trampoline. Tense the hands into fists and feel the muscle activation in the arms. Stomp or do heel drops for 1min and feel energy moving in the legs. Push the hands outward into the space around you, claiming your energy field as yours. The ideas are truly endless!
Tapping into healthy aggression, as we call it in Somatic Experiencing®, can be helpful in restoring the energy of Mobility.
This topic wouldn’t be complete with talking about the core emotion of Anger and all of it’s sub-flavours (frustration, annoyance, agitation etc). This can actually be really helpful to feel…especially when introduced in digestible doses
Why? Because Anger is inherently sympathetic, self-protective, and mobilizing. It can help you feel into what you’re fighting against, but also what you’re fighting for. What you desire and want more of Tapping into these qualities can melt the ice of the freeze response
Anger is hot and in the right dose, it melts the ice of freeze. Too much, and the water boils over . The idea is to find the temperature that brings you back online without overwhelming your nervous system.
Anger can be incredibly clarifying ︎
It can give you a sense of drive, purpose, passion, choice, desire, and EMPOWERMENT.
Healthy amounts of this energy can actually feel like creating safety for yourself. A signal to your system that you got you boo
So this is my invitation for you: the next time you’re feeling freeze-y qualities creep into your system, ask yourself “what can I do to mobilize right now?”
And if you’re curious to explore this with support, I’d love to welcome you into my private practice, where we explore how these nervous system states live in your body in real time, and where new ways of relating to your emotions, nervous system, and your life can unfold.