Are you regulating, or inhibiting? 𓃭

There’s a delicate line between tending to your nervous system and silencing it 🫣

And the truth is, many of us have no idea when we’re doing the latter. We’ve been taught to soothe, suppress, and manage… often before we even let ourselves feel.

We’ve all done it, right? Felt that flicker of heat in the belly, a rush of emotion in the chest, a sudden surge of energy moving through the body… and almost instinctively reached for a breath technique, a grounding tool, or a distraction. Anything to make it go away.

And the wild part is, so much of today’s nervous system education praises this. We’re taught that if we’re truly “regulated,” we should always feel calm. That any spark of activation means something’s wrong 🚫 Ughh this messaging irks me to my core!! It’s rooted in misinformation and FEAR of our own aliveness ✨

I know that since you’re here in my world, it’s likely you’ve been been dancing with your own nervous system for a while. You may even have a strong toolbox of regulation tools.

I’m not telling you to through away that toolbox.
Please don’t get me wrong.

But sometimes, our tools become strategies for control rather than pathways into deeper presence with what we’re feeling arise in our bodies. They can become a shield 🛡️ and a way to avoid the very thing that is craving to be felt.

Here’s the truth:

Not every wave of activation is life-threatening. Not every spark of energy or sympathetic arousal needs to be “regulated”.
Sometimes, your system doesn’t need to be soothed, it needs to FEEL.

What becomes possible when we stop trying to fix our aliveness… and instead let it move through us?

The next time you’re activated, try asking yourself this:

🌶 What does the activation need in this moment? Is it asking to be tamed, soothed? Or is it craving space to move, express, and complete?

And here’s the most important part: If you don’t have the capacity in that moment to stay with the activation/charge, that’s okay too! That’s where our regulation tools/self-soothing tools come in with compassion, not control.

🔧 The difference isn’t the tool - it’s the intention behind it!

Embodiment Practice: Letting Charge Move Through You

(inspired by Somatic Experiencing principles)

Step 1: Orient
Take a few moments to settle.
Then simply notice where your body is in space.
What’s tethering you to the ground?
- Perhaps it’s the soles of your feet if you’re standing
- Or the way your sits bones and back meet the chair supporting you
Notice the feeling of being held and supported

Step 2: Sense the Activation
Now gently bring awareness to any sensation of activation in your system (this can look like tension in your body, a rise of emotion, or even an unsettling sensation)
- Where is it living in your body? Start/end?
- How does it feel? Buzzing, heat, pressure, fluttering?
- Can you feel the edges of the sensation? Is it moving or still?
- Is there a shape, a sound, or even a posture or movement that embodies this energy? Let your body show you, without forcing it.

Step 3: Pendulate
Now slowly shift your attention away from the activation, back to your tether to the ground/chair. To the place of support, the sense of being held. Then return gently to the activation.

Go back and forth like this: slowly, rhythmically, and without force.
Notice what happens when you don’t stay stuck in one or the other.

Step 4: Track Completion
With each return to the activation, sense if anything has shifted.
- Does it lessen? Move? Dissolve?
- Is there a spontaneous yawn, sigh, breath, or tear?
These are signs of discharge - your body completing a cycle it didn’t get to finish before. Track any sense of completion in your system.

Step 5: Return to Orientation
Notice where your body is in space.
What’s tethering you to the ground?
Notice the feeling of being held and supported

True regulation isn’t about managing yourself into stillness and relaxation. You’re not supposed to feel relaxed all the time!

True regulation is about expanding your capacity to be with what’s ALIVE: sensation, emotion, trigger, pleasure, arousal, grief, joy..

Your body is wise.
And you don’t need to tame that wisdom to be safe.

With you in the dance of sensation and courage, Ayesha xx