The care your breasts ache for 🜼
I know as much as anyone how many stories we can harbour around the space of the breasts.
We tell ourselves that they’re too much, they’re not enough, they’re too sexual, they’re imbalanced or uneven. We accumulate heaviness in this space of our bodies. From an energetic and emotional perspective, heartbreak, grief, abandonment, and ruptures in connection associated with attachment wounding and belonging live in the chest and breast area. When we experience these feelings, the chest and breast area literally physically collapse inward as our bodies take on the shape of our emotional experience. This is what we call in somatics a protection response, associated with the freeze pattern in the nervous system. When our posture takes on this shape of collapsing inward, it can cause tightness and tissue restriction in the breasts and surrounding muscles and fascia.
One of my main core values in the work I offer is a commitment to being really real. To keep that commitment alive here, I'll be honest with you that for years upon years, I shamed my own breasts. I told myself they're too small, uneven, and that nobody would ever love them. I also used to have tender, sore fibrocystic nodules in my breasts that would constantly irritate me. As an RMT (at the time), I realized that when we have fibrotic tissue in our backs, legs, or hips, we don’t just ignore it. We massage it, tend to it, apply heat, and care for these tender places. We seek support to break down the fascial adhesions and restore healthy tissue...and the breasts are no different. They need this type of care, too! Once I realized this, I started massaging my breasts on the regular (~ 3x/week)... and something miraculous happened. Within three months of regularly massaging my breasts before bed, the fibrocystic nodules completely melted and disappeared. SO many women experience fibrocystic changes in their breasts - dense, lumpy, ropey tissue or nodules that can feel painful, especially before menstruation (if applicable). Self breast massage can significantly help alleviate this.
Breast massage is also wonderful for the lymphatic system. Massaging this area of the body naturally stimulates and flushes the lymphatic system, which is important for the immune system and eliminating toxins from the body.
In addition to this very physical perspective on why breast massage is important, there are also a more mystical, pleasure-oriented, and sacred reasoning. In tantric and sacred feminine traditions, the breasts are known as the mounds of the heart. When we stimulate our breasts with loving and sensual touch, oxytocin (the love/bonding hormone) is released in the brain. From a pleasure perspective, when the nipples are stimulated, the same brain receptors are activated as when the genitals are stimulated. Say whaaat?! We can produce feel good hormones just from touching our own breasts? Yep. Studies have shown that nipple and breast massage can lead to orgasms on their own. It takes 15-20+ minutes to fully stimulate the breast area.
We often only have other people touch our breasts: lovers, medical examiners, our sweet babies. And while those things may be beautiful (lovers or babies) or very necessary (medical exams), when we don’t touch our own breasts they can feel neglected! There’s often emotional numbness and disconnection around this body area. Self breast massage can help mend these wounds.
Our breasts are also intricately linked to our wombs! The Vagus Nerve (the primary parasympathetic nerve of the body) innervates both the heart and the uterus, as well as the cervix. In addition, the heart and womb are connected in infant development. In pregnancy, the womb is the first home for a baby, nurturing and supporting their growth. After birth, the role of nourishment is then carried on by the breasts through breastmilk to support development.
So, the question is: why are the most tender parts of us treated like they only matter during sex, motherhood… or not at all? What would shift if we tended to the “taboo” parts of our body like they were sacred, not secret?
In support of this, I'd love to share a Gentle Breast Tending practice with you. See below:
Embodiment Practice: Gentle Breast Tending
An invitation to connect with your heart space and breasts
Step 1: Orient and settle
- Find a quiet space where you can sit or lie down without interruption
- Rub your palms together gently, creating a little heat
Step 2: Place your hands
- Place one hand on each breast. Feel the weight and compassion of your own touch, steady and warm.
Step 3: Breathe into your hands
- Let your breath deepen naturally
- As you inhale, imagine a sense of warmth or spaciousness filling your chest
- As you exhale, allow your shoulders to soften, your jaw to unclench, your belly to release
- Rather than trying to change anything, just be with what you feel. Sensations, emotions, numbness… all of it is welcome. This is about tending, not fixing.
Step 4: Whisper kindness
- You might say to yourself silently: “I’m here” or “Thank you” or “I’ve got you”
- Let your words emerge from a place of reverence
If you’re craving to go deeper, I invite you to explore the Breast Massage Mini Course (only $22) on my website that guides you through what oils/lotions are safe to use, the herstory of breast massage and a full list of benefits, and a 25min guided self breast massage practice. It’s a self-paced journey into loving touch, emotional release, and sacred reconnection with this tender, powerful part of your body.